Eliminate Collaboration: Get More Done Alone
In the late 20th Century, an unpleasant trend began to swell around the notion that bringing developers and customers together in participatory decision-making created great work and better software. The sad outcome of this hogwash proved that such working conditions only created needless and wasteful interactions. The slowdown caused by these touchy feely discourses sent the software development community reeling. Now, it's time to stand up and say, "We're not going to take it!"
In this enlightened 27-minute workshop, we will review the power of the one: working alone as a means to attaining greater productivity regardless of the desired outcome of your customer. Learn to control everything you do by simply shutting doors, not answering email, refusing meeting invitations, and blowing off all annoyances. Learn how to gain the power of sole control by creating an eMoat between you and your customer. You'll also learn to how to apply the simple eMoat tool in order to fend off your so called colleagues and peers. Let's face it: these people don't know anything. Your customers are imbeciles and your coworkers are an embarrassment. Eliminate collaboration and get more done alone!
This special eMoat workshop is co-sponsored by the group Faith No More and their hit classic "We Care A Lot":
We care a lot about the little things, the bigger things we top
We care a lot about you people, yeah, you bet we care a lot
And it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it...