Cubisms: Insights Into Increasing Productivity Through Isolation

We all know what we like to do-—write code! And, despite our love for our craft, we are continually bombarded with meetings, code reviews, users, and bugs. These distractions do nothing but keep us from that six-month, heads down quest to fully design and construct that class library we're sure to make the system be more flexible and powerful than anyone ever imagined. This session focuses on specific "Cubisms" that will allow you to more successfully barricade yourself in your cube and isolate yourself from all those annoying team dynamics. I will provide a point-by-point breakdown of techniques that will allow you to become the fully independent developer you deserve to be. I'll show you how to successfully avoid meetings, how to overestimate tasks to buy more time, how to get thousands of lines of code past your tech lead without having a single code review. These are just the tip of the iceberg. When you're done with this session, your team will never be able to distract you again.